Feeling Salty? Questions to Ask Yourself When You’re Mad at Navy Life

grass beside the sea

Is your spouse deployed? Is your spouse home but working crazy hours- SSN- Saturdays, Sundays and Nights is the accroymn right? New orders received and are your last choice? This usually leads to feelings of anger towards the Navy or maybe even your spouse.  

It’s ok to feel anger or frustration or sadness, but when you’re ready to move past those feelings ask yourself these questions. The life of a submarine family is very different than civilian life. These are the times to lean on those who are in the same boat- pun intended. 

What opportunities has the Navy brought me? 

Maybe without your spouses Naval career you wouldn’t have met. Maybe you wouldn’t have found some of your life long friends. Maybe you never would have traveled outside your home state. Maybe it was learning to become more independent and self reliant because you don’t live near family. 

Have I taken my frustration with the Navy out on my spouse?

It’s important to reflect on how your emotions have come out towards family and friends. Your spouse wants to be home with you not spending every waking moment working. If you’re frustrated with Navy life it might be worthwhile checking in on your spouse to see if they are also having feelings about their responsibilities and inconveniences of work too. 

What necessities does the Navy provide?

Early in the pandemic, I was grateful to know I would always eventually find toilet paper on base thanks to the commissary. When we lived near a hurricane zone,  I knew we would be able to find shelter at the base that would allow our dog. Tricare, though at times a royal pain, covers my daughter’s incredibly expensive prescriptions. 

What can I plan to look forward to or treat myself to? 

Is it a trip home? A trip to see friends? Exploring the area around your duty station? Choosing to get your favorite take-out? Deciding to splurge on the move-out cleaning? Finally investing in the curtains that fit the windows to make your house feel a bit more your own? Going on an outdoor walk with a fellow submarine spouse. Find a way to make your current situation a bit easier or leaning on those who are experiencing the same things can do wonders for your mental health. 

As a submarine spouse, you’ll earn each an every military discount and will certainly have plenty of reasons for salty days, but once you’ve had your moment try to reframe the experience.  What positive experiences has the submarine life provided in your life? Comment below and share your favorite way to shake off a salty day.

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