25 Things We Did as New Sub Spouses That We Would Never Do Again

selective focus photography of pair of white open toe chunky heeled shoes and bouquet flowers

We asked, you answered! We posed a simple question to our followers: what did you do as a new submarine spouse that you would never do again?

Here’s what they said:

  1. Have any expectations whatsoever. Don’t expect FRG’s to be bad because not all of them are but don’t expect them all to be great either. Don’t expect my husband’s day-to-day schedule or the boat schedule to stay the same and don’t expect to love or hate a duty station or command. The phrase “it is what it is” has been my mantra the last few years.

  2. Listen to people about how bad the FRG is. The FRG is a nice way to meet others. You automatically have something in common with, and just gives you something to do. Because you suddenly have more time when they are gone.

  3. Skip the port calls, thinking there will always be “another.” Make the memories; spend the money. You can get back the money, but the time and memories are forever.
  4. Shared my personal medical info on pre deployment paperwork.

  5. Wait on the pier in the rain for the boat.

  6. Spend more than 10 minutes putting together the Halfway Box.

  7. Not realize just how bad “boat smell” really is when they bring home their laundry. Now when he goes out to sea for any good length of time he either (1) brings old stuff that’s falling apart, holes in socks/tshirts do he can just toss it when he pulls in OR (2) must immediately put all boat related items in the wash on sanitize. You can’t get that damn smell out of things!

  8. Putting off things until it “gets better. ” There will always be some phase that’s going to screw up things. Just make a plan and do it.

  9. Also be very firm on my travel boundaries. If him, me, and our kids are important enough to you then come to us. Otherwise we’ll come to you when we can, so stop trying to guilt us about it.

  10. Definitely remember to enjoy the independence sea time and duty nights gave me. The time I got to spend with myself was good and I could have done so much more and some days I really do miss those child-free years.

  11. Try to make plans of any kind. 

  12. Not be present for the packers. During my first PCS my husband was still in school (we weren’t married yet), and I left my apartment in Seattle to go to breakfast downtown while they packed everything up!

  13. Trust dream sheets and detailers.

  14. Complain about lengths of underways or deployments..,because even longer ones are coming up.  

  15. Not wear sunscreen to the pier. Girl, it’s gonna be toasty and you gonna fry!

  16. Get my hopes up.

  17. Got a personalized navy spouse tumbler.

  18. Expect my husband to come home during refit.

  19. Trust the boat to approve leave for an important event…. for example…. our wedding.

  20. Wear “navy wife” gear.

  21. Go to homecoming as a nuke spouse.

  22. Rely on my husband to let me know everything that’s available to spouses. They know nothing!

  23. Read every single blog there is on how to be a military spouse and change my entire personality to match what I thought it was supposed to match.

  24. Complain about duty night.

  25. Not cook myself meals cause it’s “too much work” or “wasteful” to cook for one. Get in the kitchen and make yourself something good to eat!

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